FreeWrights Peer Review™

Lord Byron was master of verse
Whose wife found him quite too perverse
“It’s bad enough, mister,
You’re shagging your sister,
But in my rear entry is worse.”

A poet by name of Geoff Chaucer
Drank wine like a veteran saucer
Yet such was his verse
That milkmaid or nurse
Would open and smile, “Why of course sir.”

Said Sappho, “I don’t want to whinge,
“But lately I’m feeling a twinge
Of need for a man” –
Cried Plato, “I can!”
And munched on a muff diver’s minge.

Poor Oscar was caught in flagrante
With Ernest, whose clothes were quite scanty
Said Wilde, “To be frank,
I’m just having a wank,
While Ernie quotes Byron and Dante.”

veteran saucer?...were drunk when you wrote this?

the third stanza is my fav.

Put a smile on my face. And, hey, I've had botox.

Well, no, not really.

There's a very good possibility that alcohol was involved. Botox is remarkable stuff -- normally it's the pricks that put the frown lines there, not take them away.

I wonder if they've realised yet that putting this forum here just gives us an excuse to search for new lows to stoop to...

Weeeeee doggies!! Throw another tender barbie on the stake, the Ozzies are having a party and they're cooking without gas.

Stoop, squat, bend over, it's all good for me.

Just had a glass of the rottiest-gut shiraz ever pissed into a bottle--Rosemount. Take a guess, a wild-ass guess, where it is from?

See, this is what a dirty section is all about.

possibly the Margaret river region of Western Australia....was it one of their cheap line-range diamond cellar bottles?...i think that's what they are called...

they do make a nice cheap Sem. Sauv. blanc.

with red wine I like to spend anywhere between 20-40 bucks...

$2.50 on clearance at Walmart. Southeast Austrailia. Unfortunately I bought 6 bottles. Looks like we will be using a lot of wine in our cooking. Your are right, about $15-20 for a decent red. but sometimes we get a surprise. Bought a case of Big Daddy merlot for $2/btl. and it has turned out to be excellent.

I am not sure if i could even bare to touch a bottle that cost $2.

"And munched on a muff diver's minge"
hahahahaaha.

Ha, you dopey bastard, that's what you get for buying a wine from Victoria. Uneducated palates of the USA, pah!
(Why do you think we export that instead of drinking it ourselves?)

Now, pens out folks, dirty limericks should be flowing -- god knows the poets provide plenty of inspiration, with their filthy habits.

ah, darling Leanne, I'd love to have a serious discussion with you you about James Joyce and his specific tastes.

This poem
is like flirtatious
fireworks with a bonus
smile
ear-to-ear

thank
you,

Leanne
dear

What a dastardly thing to say about your Queen, God save her.

Poor Jimmy, a drunk and a nutter
Would smother his daughter in butter
His muse and his riddle
Did Dedalus diddle
And Finnegan wake in the gutter?

Victoria was dead four days before Australian Federation, in fact, so she was never technically queen while we were a nation. So there.

Leanne wrote:Now, pens out folks, dirty limericks should be flowing -- god knows the poets provide plenty of inspiration, with their filthy habits.

Since the invite was proffered here I shant start a new thread with this:

I
There was so little room in the casket
She could barely reach down to his basket
But eating his eyes
brought blood to her thighs
So getting it proper? She's past it.

II
She spied then Pete's fire-eyes. "You're Dracul !"
she gasped, but his member had just drooled
its seed. And she knew,
as an Angel, she's through:
God, sure, would ken her breath of pearl-jewel.

Ach, she's well screwed, God's not up for fellatio at all I've heard. Vulgar and delightful, Madame V.