FreeWrights Peer Review™

you are my little vase
October skies in your glass
I am a broken dandelion
abandoned by the promise of spring,
my stem reaches for the twilight water
in your cupped hands

dflore.
If you are going to capitalise 'October' and 'I' then maybe you should also capitalise 'you', and if you think a comma is needed at the line break why not finish the punctuation.
It is a neat little poem, it's growing on me.

k

dflore wrote:you are my little vase
October skies in your glass
I am a broken dandelion
abandoned by the promise of spring,
my stem reaches for the twilight water
in your cupped hands

Nicely done in this minimal poem, dflore. Good work.

Chris

I find this to be a pleasantly effective image. Nice work.

Allen