FreeWrights Peer Review™

Tell me the story of you
Where does the wind reach your sails
Take me into your arms
Into your dream world
Sing me your night song's forever

seems like a decent start for something longer

Abilene wrote:Tell me the story of you
Where does the wind reach your sails
Take me into your arms
Into your dream world
Sing me your night song's forever

heroic meter and rhythm with a romantic swell --

a Ramadan man

out of the desert at dusk he will come, intemperate, seeing you first with his eyes, burning like coals in his longing for your sumptuous fruits, then his mouth will swallow your blushing lips, he will drink deep from your sweet mouth while hands as strong as steel bind you close to him -- in that ravishing you will feel the Laylat al-Qadr in your breasts bearing passions fruit in your mind and your hearts will be one...