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AHhhhh

For scrappy little bits of poem, minimalist pieces, poetry tails, witty repartee and other leftovers.

AHhhhh

Postby kjb on Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:18 am

AHhhhh

Now dunk the shortbread
sweet mud, dark
velvet on the tongue.
..................................................................................

AHhhhh

Now dunk the Tim Tam
sweet mud, dark,
velvet on the tongue.
Last edited by kjb on Sun Jan 11, 2009 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby bluejay on Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:58 am

haikuish and okayish, maybe a comma-ish after dark?
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Postby Leanne on Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:30 am

Would work better if it said "now dunk the Tim Tam" :)
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Postby kjb on Sun Jan 11, 2009 9:41 pm

Bluejay thanks.

Leanne you always go straight to the crux of the biscuit. :)
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