FreeWrights Peer Review™

apparently
we have agreed
had
without knowing
drowned with the rest of them
but we sang
sing like we own music
and melodically
ruin over fate
while laughing ourselves
to death
noses
just above the water

some very quirky things happening in this poem, v. I would like to think of your nose just at sea level, and I'm trusting that you're keeping yours clean.


fondly,

another

v

were you wondering about the drowning and yet the noses above the water?

no, I'm fine with that. You do a "tense fusion" in your poem, though, which consists of complicated chords. Deceptively simple, on the surface, but under.....


nice poem, v

or

I like your poem, v

'drowned...of them'
as a companion to 'what .... camus know' - subscribed to him and sartre, unknowingly.

'sing...music'
nothing belongs to anyone, anywhere.

'...to death'
irony? perhaps.

'...water'
waiting to die.


'melodic ruin over fate' is a line i once sent to a writer/acquaintance when she asked me what my day was like. i was writing music that day.
i thought it apt; it fit into camus/sartre/zizek.


did you find all of this here?
i'm interested in knowing what you saw.

v,

I'm not a devotee of literary criticism. I'm an intuitive reader, and when I like a poem I climb inside, I try it on, I wear it. I also believe that true poems are written on a number of levels, not all of which are necessarily known to the author. Hence,

poet and reader meet in the overlap, a wonderfully foreign yet intimate zone.

I did not catch the literary references, and that doesn't cause me to wonder that either you or I have in some way failed.

I dislike explaining what I see in a poem, but for you I will make an exception:

friends or lovers
or possibly brothers
suffering
(unnecessarily)
and possibly masochistically,
yet intelligent and
reflective enough to recognize the
absurdity in tragedy.

*
another v