FreeWrights Peer Review™

original -- The infinite night

In infinite darkness
an ancient ache cried out
from which came many tears

and so they became
lights in the firmament;
Stars in the night!

From Darkness comes light
and of the deeper,
allured to those Dreams

a loneliness is cast
to the edge of forever
in longing swells.

There is nothing left to burn
when infernal anguishes sputter;
the Stars are falling!

---

With Darkness comes light
from the longing of the night ...

We echo each other like Souls as one,
between the watery Moon and the fiery Sun,
a Love ascends us to mutual bliss,
in ecstasies longing where lips cannot kiss ...

You are a Starry light in this Firmament
to which I wish upon your Star
for the writings and words like thee,
to bring forth happiness over misery ...

In the Darkest of Nights
where you swell with a Heart of Love,
Your tears are like the Starry lights
that were shed from up above!

Your tears are an instrument of Love,
as Stars are the tears of night!

I wonder if "from darkness comes light" isn't a trueism, it comes close to being a cliché as well, darkness follows light etc. The second part of the poem reads a lot better than the first. I really enjoyed reading that part.

Sergio