Hi wec,
I do apologise I did not mean to drop you in the unspeakable,
However, Trochee and Bluejay it would appear have been having a hilarious time at my expense or so I have been led to understand. Therefore, I have decided to leave FPR to their mastications
However, my original suggested amendment was typed straight on the page and as such is now gone.
Having looked at your verses in more detail I think they have a lot to commend themselves on. They just needs rearranging into some form of poetic format.
As has been previously noted you need some form of rhymed format in order to bring out their full potential.
Robbie Burns was famous for his close couplings that is why I chose his style for your poem, however you have many choices before you.
You could extend your syllable line for example
For only rarely may soul, a moment find
that shape so dear a heart as kind
womans being, is truly in dispose
from all those other truths, it knows.
That would take you into new territory that perhaps you did not want to go.
Bluejay is right this is the place to solve your problems, go on show the bastards you are nobody’s patsy.
Best of luck
Mor.
BLUEJAY says:
I do apologise I did not mean to drop you in the unspeakable,
However, Trochee and Bluejay it would appear have been having a hilarious time at my expense or so I have been led to understand. Therefore, I have decided to leave FPR to their mastications
????
Mor, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Send me a message if you have a problem. That subject would have no bearing on wec's work.
MOR says:
Hi bluejay,
trochee, has stated in the forum on PC, that both you a nd he have found my presence on FPR afforded you a considerable amount of amusement and hilarious laughter.
He further states that both you and he enjoyed kicking me out FPR, an incident I cannot recall, though I do recall leaving of my own free will, with what I believe was no animosity on either side, he further stated that both you and he exchange emails on the subject of my future harassment.
Therefore, in such an atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust I have decided to move on.
I have enjoyed my short stay here on FPR, and admit, I have learnt from the experience, as no doubt many others will also.
I never use email on poetry sites, hence my public reply.
BLUEJAY says:
Mor,
I still have no idea what you are talking about. Please send me the link to where you are reading this. I have had only one communication with trochee in months, a very brief, "haven't heard from you in awhile, hope all is well, etc, etc. " maybe 7-8 sentences total. Be more than happy to share them with you. The decision is yours, but you seem to be the type of person who would have confronted me, rather than taking off. Please do send the links, so I can contact him.
Let us not garble this thread with this. We may discuss it in public, but open up a thread in one of the forums at the top of FPR. Or if you like I will do so and move these replies to that spot.
MOR says:
re: prom king and queen have been announced trochee 24 Feb 09 11:16AM Thread Closed
>
> Please go and play on FPR like a good little kid, write some silly
> comments on the poetry there
haha i guess you being kicked out of FPR has done a great deal of damage to your lil bitch-ego... When i am needed there Bluejay messages me and when we need a good laugh we all just remember how much fun it was to kick your butt. Hehe! yeaa it was.
http://poetrycritical.net/forum/read/180007/11/
BLUEJAY says:
Trochee is yanking your crank. I read the thread, the whole thing was child's play and foolishness. Believe what you will. You are welcome here anytime. I don't have time to screw around trying to make jokes out of folks postings and work. I enjoy your stuff here, so it is your call to be active anytime you wish.
