FreeWrights Peer Review™

I don't care
how many pussy
swamps you infest; I am
beyond jealous.
I am cherry-pit twitch.

And if you want to line us up:
pop
pop
pop

I will take my place;
I will lick my lips.

I know a thing
or two about loss
and sugar jolts.

Tell me
that I have a number,
one digit or two,
asymmetrical;
I will follow
you

*

This has painted a tone of total resignation, almost dispair. As the reader I have to shake my head and ask, "How does one get to this point?" Don't know if that is the response you want, but it is what you get. The mark of a good write is to leave a profound feeling in the reader, regardless of what the feeling may be.

I know this.

I wish I hadn't read it and understood.

of everything you have written during the last month
i like this one the best.

i am not sure if i can relate to taking my place in the queue, i think i would fight my way to the front. pick me, pick me.

'pussy swamps' is beautiful. i have never heard that before. that must be something you have conjured yourself. it certainly smells like something you would have created.

i may be wrong.

Steve, I hadn't wanted any particular response, but I'm very pleased that you did respond. Your question, "How does one get to this point?" intrigued me.
Downsliding and backsliding are very easy; it doesn't take long to get there, to that point. My counterpoint question to you is: "How does one not get to this point?"

I'm sorry to hear that, Leanne, but I read your brilliant words and look at your radiant smile, and I dare to see your happiness now.

Raskolniikov, one day you and I must meet for an online game of chess. I have not knowingly seen pussy swamps elsewhere, but sometimes we all conveniently forget references. Recently, someone used the term sea of pussy, and I thought , " shouldn't it be swamp?" Of course, it could be bog or soup, couldn't it?

"How does one not get to this point?"

I have no answer for that, but I spend my days at work with it surrounding me. Mostly it is in the financial sense that I see people at the bottom. I am not there at the emotional slide, but if I were I would listen and listen and listen. Then I would talk softly, with reason and sincerity. I could do no more, and I am sure it would not be enough in most instances.